We begin to say goodbye to 2024 with cooler temperatures and yuletide attitudes as December ends. One thing is sure: self-regulation starts with the Self despite all else. In the last blog for 2024, I explore the sixth and final virtue, Courage, as well as three character strengths: Honesty, Bravery, and Perseverance, with the pendulum swinging both ways as a reminder we can make it through the first starting with Self. A great conclusion to the MTO Lean-in Series, which focuses on character strengths and virtues from the VIA Institute.
I had initially planned to finish this series in October, but I found myself overwhelmed with school and work. I had convinced myself that I could push through despite feeling fatigued. However, I realized that the virtue of Courage also encompasses the character strength of Honesty. It was time for me to be honest with myself, which meant reevaluating the narrative I had created in my head. So, I took a break and reframed my internal dialogue to accept my revised story to remind myself that the pendulum swings both ways, so I must put myself first and focus on myself to overcome a self-imposed narrative that pushing through is the best way.
I challenge you, amidst this season of giving and gratitude, to be honest with yourSELF—it's a personal journey.
Is being honest with yourself a sign of bravery? Depending on who you ask, you might get different answers. In my opinion, yes, we are often harder on ourSELVES than anyone else is. Bravery is usually defined as resilience, facing fears, and not shrinking in the face of a threat or challenge. So, why can't SELF be a challenge? To help you navigate this solitary journey of self-awareness, consider the following statement:
"I AM in charge of how I react to others. I choose to respond in a positive way."
I AM: Root Chakra
Balanced: Feeling safe, secure, and fully present. This involves connecting to what is happening around you and healthily relating to the people in your life.
Deficient: Experiencing fear, lack of discipline, and restlessness with people in your life.
Just like preparing holiday festivities, rounding out year end KPIs, and being present for the people we love also requires that YOU, ME, and THEY be true to SELF- begin with confronting our internal challenges, which doesn't mean having all the answers or always "doing all the things" right. However, approaching situations with a positive attitude can lead to better coping strategies. For example, prioritizing resting over racing. Is it stressful, Absolutely, but it’s necessary.
Some might argue, "That's ridiculous; I don't have to do anything." My response is that perseverance and zest must outweigh anything that de-energizes us.
Perseverance can drive one to keep going and use it to overcome the SELF-barrier that holds them back. When perseverance is underused, one may feel helpless; however, if it is overused, it can become an obsession. Consider the following statement to reframe and encourage yourSELF:
"I DO have everything I need within me."
I Do: Solar Plexus
Balanced: Self-confident and energetic while also enjoying a connection with the universe and understanding their unique place in it. This person has a strong sense of personal power.
Deficient: Sometimes, someone may lack enthusiasm and self-confidence and feel powerless.
My sibling and I spent the holidays at my grandmother’s house when I was a child. She would set up an artificial white Christmas tree in the living room, positioned in front of the window so that the lights shone brightly at night. In the same area where the tree stood, she displayed her belongings, including books, a radio, and a newspaper. Every gift under the tree was beautifully wrapped, and the food—oh my goodness! She made her famous coconut cake, which my aunt loved, as well as delicious pies that my dad cherished, and her dressing was so good you felt like biting your fingers.
Never once did my grandmother ask for help. As a child, I thought she was magical. She did everything, and it was always beautiful. She taught me perseverance. A woman from the South, she faced the harsh realities of Jim Crow and had only a sixth-grade education, yet she always ensured that anyone who walked through her door felt at home.
I didn't fully understand her bravery until I became an adult and began experiencing the complexities of life. Now, I appreciate the wisdom she imparted through her actions. I learned to remember that even if there is rust on the rod swinging the pendulum, it is still swinging. I have the power to choose how to react and, most importantly, to dig deep for the positive, even when everything around me feels negative or unpleasant.
