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reniimodisette • September 9, 2022

Leading with love is essential at home, with friends, and in the workplace. With this in mind, for this post, I want to unpack leading with love with the most important person, myself. First and foremost, I need to love myself before I can love others, including leading with love in conversation, thought, or consideration. Ignoring my love language.


Does leading with love always happen? Are you intentionally practicing empathy? Or are you judging more and smiling less? Now and then, does Nana Naysayer come through with a “yep, you are not,” then someone makes a statement like “you would be better if”? It indeed happened. I internalized the unsolicited advice despite knowing no one could walk in my shoes but me. Owning my love language.



Learning to lead with love meant that first, I needed to love myself. Expressly, I accepted that my past did not define me, others may not understand me, and life will occasionally have me questioning my sanity. How did I start? I started with the practice of self-forgiveness. And it was challenging to lean into my love language.

First, my challenge was me. When I looked in the mirror, all I saw were flaws. Along with visualization came criticism. Second, I did not believe I could truly be happy in the brown skin I was in and appreciate the changes happening to my body. Third, I needed to discover how to start. I wondered which words to verbalize without forsaking being genuine, which means I wanted:

  • My words to resonate with the little girl within who was chunky all her life
  • The teenage girl who second-guessed most things
  • The young and middle-aged adult who believed the negative self-talk. As a result, she is blinded to the positivity in front of her every day.


Ultimately realizing, not only did I need to put in work, but the happiness I sought began with me. It sounds simple, but I struggled. At one point, I asked myself, “what do you like about yourself?” ReRe Positive shouted, “You have a great smile!” then I embraced my love language by reading the notes left on my desk from my son:

  • “I love you.”
  • “You’re the best mom everrrr!!”
  • “Hi, mom. Have a good day.”


I kept all his notes written to me while he was in middle and high school. Above all, reading the notes reminded me that words of affirmation are my love language, so I started with sticky notes on my full-length mirror:

  • See only potential.
  • You are a statistic of awesomeness.
  • It is okay. Today is a new day.
  • Own it, Embrace It, Change It, Take your power BACK.


Indeed, when I see these words of affirmation each day, I am reminded that I matter. For this reason, I remain intentional about leading with love. Owning my love language.

Leading with love are the words spoken to yourself. Affirmations help but are temporary solution if you are not in touch with your feelings about your body. Simply because it is a struggle. If you struggle with finding your own internal words of affirmation causing you to not lead with love, I can help you! Through the GLADness Program, I will help you adapt strategies to further embrace your internal language. Book a free consultation today. 

LEAN INTO:CouRagE EMBRACE: Honesty, Bravery, and Perseverance

By Renii Modisette • December 27, 2024
We begin to say goodbye to 2024 with cooler temperatures and yuletide attitudes as December ends. One thing is sure: self-regulation starts with the Self despite all else. In the last blog for 2024, I explore the sixth and final virtue, Courage, as well as three character strengths: Honesty, Bravery, and Perseverance, with the pendulum swinging both ways as a reminder we can make it through the first starting with Self. A great conclusion to the MTO Lean-in Series, which focuses on character strengths and virtues from the VIA Institute. I had initially planned to finish this series in October, but I found myself overwhelmed with school and work. I had convinced myself that I could push through despite feeling fatigued. However, I realized that the virtue of Courage also encompasses the character strength of Honesty. It was time for me to be honest with myself, which meant reevaluating the narrative I had created in my head. So, I took a break and reframed my internal dialogue to accept my revised story to remind myself that the pendulum swings both ways, so I must put myself first and focus on myself to overcome a self-imposed narrative that pushing through is the best way. I challenge you, amidst this season of giving and gratitude, to be honest with yourSELF—it's a personal journey. Is being honest with yourself a sign of bravery? Depending on who you ask, you might get different answers. In my opinion, yes, we are often harder on ourSELVES than anyone else is. Bravery is usually defined as resilience, facing fears, and not shrinking in the face of a threat or challenge. So, why can't SELF be a challenge? To help you navigate this solitary journey of self-awareness, consider the following statement:  "I AM in charge of how I react to others. I choose to respond in a positive way."

Where are you on the tightrope? MTO Lean-in Series, Part IV

By Renii Modisette • October 13, 2024
Hello October! Q4 is in full swing, with MTO KPIs still at the forefront. It feels like I was saying "Happy New Year" just yesterday. Towards the end of June, I began the MTO Lean-in Series, which focuses on character strengths and virtues from the VIA Institute. I learned about the character strengths and virtues while completing my Positive Psychology Practitioner studies and found them intriguing, especially in relation to enhancing my mindfulness practice. So far, I've covered Temperance, Transcendence, Humanity, and Justice. This month, I'll be discussing the fifth virtue, Wisdom, as well as three character strengths: Judgment, Curiosity, and Perspective. I'll then conclude the series with the sixth virtue in the November blog post. For more information on VIA's character strengths, please visit the VIA Institute website at https://www.viacharacter.org. WISDOM Let’s begin with I've coined the Wisdom Tightrope when discussing the virtue of Wisdom because it involves a balancing act depending on the situation. The first character strength, Judgment, is rooted in critical thinking to counteract faulty thinking and biased opinions. When overused, Judgment can lead to narrow-mindedness, and when underused, one isn't reflective enough. Ironically, it is often frowned upon to judge ourselves and others, yet our analytical mind somehow gets in the way, which allows us to debate whether something that is frowned upon should be up for discussion.

MTO Lean In Series: Part III

By Renii Modisette • September 2, 2024
This month's blog post features Part III of the MTO Lean in Series. In this edition, we discuss the virtue of Justice and two-character strengths. To learn more about VIA character strengths, please visit the VIA Institute.
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