My grandson is seven years old. For a little person, he is sensible. He’s had experiences that many children his age have not. Finding hope while adapting to circumstances extending past what video games he wants to play. Wondering who he will play with outside, or what happened on the playground. He is a child. But a survivor of homelessness, drug and emotional abuse scenes, and foster care.
All in all, did his parents want that for him? Of course not, but life happens. Let alone becoming a protector early in his life. For these reasons, his mom made the difficult decision to ask me to be his guardian. I can’t imagine the difficulty of a decision such as that. But she knew and did it.
The road to her decision was very complicated. It has impacted our family in many ways. Taken years for me to evolve past anger, hurt, and shame. Keep in mind, I had a specific vision and expectations for my children after they birthed children. Considering, I didn’t think the challenges that Kaleb faced would happen in our family. Futhermore, I knew my children “weren’t raised that way.”
As a result, I made a mistake. My mindset contributed to tension in my home. In fact, it hindered our communication. Just like a scene in the movie ATL. Instead of discussing their issues, the uncle turned on Good Times and passed the cereal. No talking, only moving forward without any resolution.
Indeed, I am grateful for second and third chances.
I am grateful that my grandson didn’t give up on himself. His hope led him to seek the positive amid chaos. Kaleb has said, “I kept hoping grandma.” A child teaching me to extend past anger and disappointment. Let go of sadness. Be present.
Indeed, a seven-year-old did that- a child. Having enough hope for the both of us. Gradually sprinkling his hope.
The saying “if you want to hear God laugh, tell your plans” is fitting. My children are grown. I’d drafted my Stella Wish List. It was ready to go. But I became my grandson’s guardian last year in November. Ironically, my wishlist became Spiderman and Friends.
Stella understood.
I am happy to report that my grandson is adjusting and thriving through it all. The consequence of turbulent times is the runway to healing. A healing between mother and daughter, mother and son, and brother and sister, with a long road ahead of us. Altogether, believing in our strength, our vulnerability helps lift us up. Hug more. Talk more. Judge less.
While I hope to continue to absorb the resilience that Kaleb has shown. Someday Kaleb can share his story to help another child not give up. My experience with the foster care system has been educational. I hope to create opportunities for the children still holding on to hope.
