This week, I ventured into reels. I was so nervous about recording a video. Partially because it evoked the moments of what I didn’t see in myself. Mental health is a tricky thing-repeatedly hitting record while asking 17 questions that started with “what if.” I was getting in my way by seconding guessing, third rethinking- being my own worst critic. Sound familiar? But mental victory vibes help get me through the moment.

At what point in my life, did second guessing become my normal?

When did I forget that being encouraged is a pathway to discoveries? A pathway to mental victory vibes overflow

More importantly, why did I forget? The truth- I absorbed the words of others who said I couldn’t, the thoughts of those who told me I wasn’t good enough, or that no one would take me seriously. Obviously, affecting my mental health more than I cared to acknowledge.

Even though the words created a fire in me that drove me to be better, I kept revisiting the conversations in my mind sporadically. I would think about what I should have said and how I could’ve said it. I did it so much that it became part of me. The words had an impact since they were spoken by people I held in high esteem, or I’d been burned out to the point it was difficult to escape the thought.

Furthermore, I hadn’t achieved specific career and personal milestones despite having achieved small victories or achievements, which I’ve lovingly coined mental victory vibes.   

I started my vibes bank after discussing strategies with my therapist. She told me to remind myself of the facts to counter negative self-talk helping my mental health. I took it a step further by hugging myself every day in the mirror. For both tasks, sometimes I struggled to make time, but I reap the benefits when I do.

This week, the poise of Ketanji Brown Jackson inspired me to fill my vibes bank to the point of overflow. During her confirmation hearing, I teared up when she said, “I stand on the shoulders of women before me”, translated to me as her introduction, and shout of gratitude to the many women before her who fought to be heard, and those to come fighting to be heard. The words hit different and serve as a reminder to continue reconfiguring my normal and persevere.

I took the little girl within to lunch. I reminded her: 

• You are smart enough
• You are talented enough
• It’s okay to be nervous, but don’t give up
• Keep filling up your mental vibes bank and share the overflow with friends

Adding to my mental victory vibes bank

I hope that you will do the same. Extending outside of what I’ve defined as my normal is not always stress-free, evidenced by the nervous down pour of sweat for the video this week and the one I am planning for next week. I am grateful to be part of an encouraging community. There is freedom in the leap, even if the result is a fall. 

The picture is of my mom, my sisters, and me at my eighth-grade graduation. She always told us the facts, no chaser, because she wanted her daughters to handle challenges with our heads high with an understanding that life can be challenging, but YOU WILL BE ALRIGHT! Her birthday was this month-Women’s History Month. She built a legacy that manifests within my sisters and me. I love her with all that I am. I couldn’t hold off until Mother’s Day as everyday with her is a gift.