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reniimodisette • May 13, 2022

There are days when the slightest thing frustrates me, and I’m easily triggered to respond with a snide comment or not-so-favorable body language. Immediately, I take a step back to ask, “what have I done for me lately?” If my answer is “umm,” then I know taking time to focusing on myself by rejuvenating and appreciating myself- pouring into my circle of wholeness. Putting myself first then later prioritizing other tasks.



What is wholeness? Personally, it is being able to allow healing to happen. 

Certainly, I’ve learned that giving myself permission to focus on me feeds my mind, body, and spirit. It’s okay to be still. 


However, it is not easy to close my circle, especially since I prioritize with a to-do list. I gravitated toward my obligations to others. Next, I constantly recounted the number of tasks I needed to complete. Moving myself from first to last. Depending on the day, my circle may assume the shape of a triangle, square, or polygon. Occasionally feeling guilty for putting myself first. I have found myself asking:


  • What do I want to do?
  • Where do I want to go?
  • Do I want to go anywhere?
  • Will the boys have snacks or dinner to eat?
  • Am I being selfish? 


All these questions loom in my head. But now, my youngest son needs me less. Consequently, I learned I didn’t know much about myself anymore- that’s not a crime, it’s motherhood. So, I sought to find myself.


Initially, I started simple—a walk in my subdivision. 


Permitting myself to revitalize by focusing on myself acknowledges that I am worthy of all I desire, making the impossible possible. My energy is elevated as I treat myself by putting myself first. Let alone understanding who I am. Over time, I started to know myself more, but I realized that discovery is a journey, and I am OKAY with that. 

I welcome learning and loving myself with the time I have, whether 5 minutes, ten minutes, or an hour. It’s nice to go from “umm” to I can do this. Even more when I put myself first.


For me, this includes practicing living in the moment. Honestly, I can’t say that I’ve always done this, but I’ve heard from a reliable source, my daughter-in-law, that it is good, and I want to try it. Frankly, I hope living in the moment helps me revive aligning with my definition of self-care. Focusing on me!


I am encouraged to know that it’s possible and that I can put myself first-focus on me. I am grateful for the healing that has taken place in my life, and I am appreciative to know that self-care contributes to wholeness. 


Finally, permission starts with me. I give myself permission to continue to stop, to be still. Ultimately, to focus on me which is vital to allowing wholeness to happen. Along with my morning walks each day, I have a mid-day Wholeness To-Do list and time allotted on my calendar:


  • Schedule a 10-minute mid-day Me Time
  • Rotate the songs on my Mental Victory Vibes playlist 
  • Charge my Air Pods
  • One-minute gratitude dancing
  • Thank God for following through (and grace from when I don’t) 


I am fully aware that life happens, and time isn’t refundable, but there is no harm is trying! 


Self-care isn’t selfish! 

LEAN INTO:CouRagE EMBRACE: Honesty, Bravery, and Perseverance

By Renii Modisette • December 27, 2024
We begin to say goodbye to 2024 with cooler temperatures and yuletide attitudes as December ends. One thing is sure: self-regulation starts with the Self despite all else. In the last blog for 2024, I explore the sixth and final virtue, Courage, as well as three character strengths: Honesty, Bravery, and Perseverance, with the pendulum swinging both ways as a reminder we can make it through the first starting with Self. A great conclusion to the MTO Lean-in Series, which focuses on character strengths and virtues from the VIA Institute. I had initially planned to finish this series in October, but I found myself overwhelmed with school and work. I had convinced myself that I could push through despite feeling fatigued. However, I realized that the virtue of Courage also encompasses the character strength of Honesty. It was time for me to be honest with myself, which meant reevaluating the narrative I had created in my head. So, I took a break and reframed my internal dialogue to accept my revised story to remind myself that the pendulum swings both ways, so I must put myself first and focus on myself to overcome a self-imposed narrative that pushing through is the best way. I challenge you, amidst this season of giving and gratitude, to be honest with yourSELF—it's a personal journey. Is being honest with yourself a sign of bravery? Depending on who you ask, you might get different answers. In my opinion, yes, we are often harder on ourSELVES than anyone else is. Bravery is usually defined as resilience, facing fears, and not shrinking in the face of a threat or challenge. So, why can't SELF be a challenge? To help you navigate this solitary journey of self-awareness, consider the following statement:  "I AM in charge of how I react to others. I choose to respond in a positive way."

Where are you on the tightrope? MTO Lean-in Series, Part IV

By Renii Modisette • October 13, 2024
Hello October! Q4 is in full swing, with MTO KPIs still at the forefront. It feels like I was saying "Happy New Year" just yesterday. Towards the end of June, I began the MTO Lean-in Series, which focuses on character strengths and virtues from the VIA Institute. I learned about the character strengths and virtues while completing my Positive Psychology Practitioner studies and found them intriguing, especially in relation to enhancing my mindfulness practice. So far, I've covered Temperance, Transcendence, Humanity, and Justice. This month, I'll be discussing the fifth virtue, Wisdom, as well as three character strengths: Judgment, Curiosity, and Perspective. I'll then conclude the series with the sixth virtue in the November blog post. For more information on VIA's character strengths, please visit the VIA Institute website at https://www.viacharacter.org. WISDOM Let’s begin with I've coined the Wisdom Tightrope when discussing the virtue of Wisdom because it involves a balancing act depending on the situation. The first character strength, Judgment, is rooted in critical thinking to counteract faulty thinking and biased opinions. When overused, Judgment can lead to narrow-mindedness, and when underused, one isn't reflective enough. Ironically, it is often frowned upon to judge ourselves and others, yet our analytical mind somehow gets in the way, which allows us to debate whether something that is frowned upon should be up for discussion.

MTO Lean In Series: Part III

By Renii Modisette • September 2, 2024
This month's blog post features Part III of the MTO Lean in Series. In this edition, we discuss the virtue of Justice and two-character strengths. To learn more about VIA character strengths, please visit the VIA Institute.
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