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reniimodisette • May 20, 2022

Have you woken on a Saturday morning with the intent to clean out your closet? The plan was to donate the things no longer worn or of use: the end goal- purge, release and grow. I have. Starting so energized. Having eaten my tea, a bagel, and eggs with spinach to fuel my efforts! I’m standing at my closet door like I will bang this out, then chill out. Hearing my lanai calling my name.


Then I start pulling items out of my closet! The pile grows. More shelves appear out of nowhere!, Somehow extra clothes emerge on hangers. Stopping while asking myself “what is going on here?” Next, turning around and walk away. No longing permitting myself to release and grow!


I would venture to call this a purge and run.


The problem is I didn’t rid myself of the things that no longer served me. I know I’m not the only one!


I entered my closet with the full intent to purge with tenacity so great that I knew I’d get it done quickly and efficiently so I could relax outside on my lanai. Instead, I walked away overwhelmed, confused, and with a missed opportunity. Especially since I decided not to address the skeletons in my closet.


Choosing to hold on doesn’t help me, and since the things weren’t donated, I’d also chosen not to help someone else. Putting an opportunity for growth on hold.

The analogy of cleaning out my closet can apply to many things. As the May Gave Me Permission posts come to an end, purging is an essential component. I let go of the weight of the past and things outside of my control. Forgiving myself and allowing those lessons to lead to growth by purging and merging. More specifically, I received a fraction of mental weight loss. Equally, respecting an chance to release and grow.

To clarify, it’s a journey that I choose each day. To release and making room to grow!

Personally, I carried the weight of being a single mom for years. I also carried the pressure of fighting very hard not to be a societal statistic associated with being a single mom, a black woman raising sons and a daughter, while not passing on generational oppression. It took me a long time to understand the blessing. I was blessed with the gift of nurturing my children who help me continue to hope. Now, as adults, I learn from their determination, positive outlook, and intellectual conversations. Through them, I continue to release and grow- become a better person. 


For this reason, I’ve given myself permission to continue to chase growth. Relish in it so self-reformation is not a try but a lifestyle. 


Letting go and seeking growth isn’t easy. It is downright hard. But with time, I’ve learned that I appreciated the lessons learned along the way. My outcome. So, I will continue to: 



  • Pray, put on my armor 
  • Go back to the closet and walk-in
  • Acknowledge the skeletons while sorting, piling, and packing 
  • Pray, keep on my armor 
  • Put the items in my car. Drop them at the donation organization- Bless someone else
  • Hug myself because I took a step to let go 

LEAN INTO:CouRagE EMBRACE: Honesty, Bravery, and Perseverance

By Renii Modisette • December 27, 2024
We begin to say goodbye to 2024 with cooler temperatures and yuletide attitudes as December ends. One thing is sure: self-regulation starts with the Self despite all else. In the last blog for 2024, I explore the sixth and final virtue, Courage, as well as three character strengths: Honesty, Bravery, and Perseverance, with the pendulum swinging both ways as a reminder we can make it through the first starting with Self. A great conclusion to the MTO Lean-in Series, which focuses on character strengths and virtues from the VIA Institute. I had initially planned to finish this series in October, but I found myself overwhelmed with school and work. I had convinced myself that I could push through despite feeling fatigued. However, I realized that the virtue of Courage also encompasses the character strength of Honesty. It was time for me to be honest with myself, which meant reevaluating the narrative I had created in my head. So, I took a break and reframed my internal dialogue to accept my revised story to remind myself that the pendulum swings both ways, so I must put myself first and focus on myself to overcome a self-imposed narrative that pushing through is the best way. I challenge you, amidst this season of giving and gratitude, to be honest with yourSELF—it's a personal journey. Is being honest with yourself a sign of bravery? Depending on who you ask, you might get different answers. In my opinion, yes, we are often harder on ourSELVES than anyone else is. Bravery is usually defined as resilience, facing fears, and not shrinking in the face of a threat or challenge. So, why can't SELF be a challenge? To help you navigate this solitary journey of self-awareness, consider the following statement:  "I AM in charge of how I react to others. I choose to respond in a positive way."

Where are you on the tightrope? MTO Lean-in Series, Part IV

By Renii Modisette • October 13, 2024
Hello October! Q4 is in full swing, with MTO KPIs still at the forefront. It feels like I was saying "Happy New Year" just yesterday. Towards the end of June, I began the MTO Lean-in Series, which focuses on character strengths and virtues from the VIA Institute. I learned about the character strengths and virtues while completing my Positive Psychology Practitioner studies and found them intriguing, especially in relation to enhancing my mindfulness practice. So far, I've covered Temperance, Transcendence, Humanity, and Justice. This month, I'll be discussing the fifth virtue, Wisdom, as well as three character strengths: Judgment, Curiosity, and Perspective. I'll then conclude the series with the sixth virtue in the November blog post. For more information on VIA's character strengths, please visit the VIA Institute website at https://www.viacharacter.org. WISDOM Let’s begin with I've coined the Wisdom Tightrope when discussing the virtue of Wisdom because it involves a balancing act depending on the situation. The first character strength, Judgment, is rooted in critical thinking to counteract faulty thinking and biased opinions. When overused, Judgment can lead to narrow-mindedness, and when underused, one isn't reflective enough. Ironically, it is often frowned upon to judge ourselves and others, yet our analytical mind somehow gets in the way, which allows us to debate whether something that is frowned upon should be up for discussion.

MTO Lean In Series: Part III

By Renii Modisette • September 2, 2024
This month's blog post features Part III of the MTO Lean in Series. In this edition, we discuss the virtue of Justice and two-character strengths. To learn more about VIA character strengths, please visit the VIA Institute.
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