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reniimodisette • July 15, 2022

My journey to self-love began with changing my mindset. As I explored my inner child, I discovered unfortunate incidents buried deep within me, and they lay dormant until a triggering event happens in my life. The triggering event is the catalyst for how I respond. Loving me includes healing from these things, ridding myself of things hinder evolving, and building my memory of lesson learned that I hope to always share with others. The phases of my journey involve:


  • Self-awareness- I am in tune with my successes and struggles. I’ve stopped running.
  • Self-forgiveness- Releasing shame so I can manage my negative thinking.
  • Self-trust- believing that I am ABLE.
  • Self-acceptance- Seeing beauty in myself without including “what if” or “but if.”



Since I am still on my journey, my phases continue to evolve.


When I was fifteen, I was sexually assaulted by someone I knew. Back then, I skipped school to see this person. Went to his home. Our interaction started innocently, but he thought it meant something more since I came to his house. Firstly, I blamed myself and kept the incident secret because I wasn’t where I should’ve been. Secondly, I didn’t want to be labeled “fast.” Lastly, I really believed it was my fault. Failing to realize that I should love me in spite of.


Leading into adulthood, I held on to the fear of making the wrong impression- setting an incorrect intention(s). Subsequently, developing self-soothing behaviors like snarky snacking and self-sabotage through negative self-talk as a coping mechanism. I found small things upsetting like someone pulling my blouse or holding my arm tightly. Becoming edgy if someone mentioned discussing me or deciding about me without my input, immediately, I felt like my choice was taken away. Again, failing to realize the importance of loving me in spite of.


I realize now the little girl within wanting to scream to regain the voice lost. For instance, my attempt to forgive and love myself involved discussing actions and consequences with my daughter and sons. Up until now, I loved myself when- but now, I love myself in spite of.


Meanwhile, I buried the incident so deep that it manifested affected the internal and visual image of myself, including the lack of love I’d shown to myself and how I expected to receive love. My advice to the little girl within and the teenage girl concerned about what someone would think instead of wholly loving herself:


  • Be selfish- love yourself.
  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Hold your head up; it’s not your fault.
  • Trust yourself- you are capable.
  • Hold on to grace for those times you can’t even though you want to.


Assimilating to the ideology that a woman must behave a certain way. But is that true? Certainly, the possibility of living free, being respected, honored, and valued is a better option. Today, I rebuke the idea of “fast” or not deserving love because “I did it to myself” by reclaiming my power. Loving Me.


To put it another way, no longer suffering in silence. Instead, claiming and receiving my journey of self-reformation. The courage to fight for me. Thank you for loving me.

LEAN INTO:CouRagE EMBRACE: Honesty, Bravery, and Perseverance

By Renii Modisette • December 27, 2024
We begin to say goodbye to 2024 with cooler temperatures and yuletide attitudes as December ends. One thing is sure: self-regulation starts with the Self despite all else. In the last blog for 2024, I explore the sixth and final virtue, Courage, as well as three character strengths: Honesty, Bravery, and Perseverance, with the pendulum swinging both ways as a reminder we can make it through the first starting with Self. A great conclusion to the MTO Lean-in Series, which focuses on character strengths and virtues from the VIA Institute. I had initially planned to finish this series in October, but I found myself overwhelmed with school and work. I had convinced myself that I could push through despite feeling fatigued. However, I realized that the virtue of Courage also encompasses the character strength of Honesty. It was time for me to be honest with myself, which meant reevaluating the narrative I had created in my head. So, I took a break and reframed my internal dialogue to accept my revised story to remind myself that the pendulum swings both ways, so I must put myself first and focus on myself to overcome a self-imposed narrative that pushing through is the best way. I challenge you, amidst this season of giving and gratitude, to be honest with yourSELF—it's a personal journey. Is being honest with yourself a sign of bravery? Depending on who you ask, you might get different answers. In my opinion, yes, we are often harder on ourSELVES than anyone else is. Bravery is usually defined as resilience, facing fears, and not shrinking in the face of a threat or challenge. So, why can't SELF be a challenge? To help you navigate this solitary journey of self-awareness, consider the following statement:  "I AM in charge of how I react to others. I choose to respond in a positive way."

Where are you on the tightrope? MTO Lean-in Series, Part IV

By Renii Modisette • October 13, 2024
Hello October! Q4 is in full swing, with MTO KPIs still at the forefront. It feels like I was saying "Happy New Year" just yesterday. Towards the end of June, I began the MTO Lean-in Series, which focuses on character strengths and virtues from the VIA Institute. I learned about the character strengths and virtues while completing my Positive Psychology Practitioner studies and found them intriguing, especially in relation to enhancing my mindfulness practice. So far, I've covered Temperance, Transcendence, Humanity, and Justice. This month, I'll be discussing the fifth virtue, Wisdom, as well as three character strengths: Judgment, Curiosity, and Perspective. I'll then conclude the series with the sixth virtue in the November blog post. For more information on VIA's character strengths, please visit the VIA Institute website at https://www.viacharacter.org. WISDOM Let’s begin with I've coined the Wisdom Tightrope when discussing the virtue of Wisdom because it involves a balancing act depending on the situation. The first character strength, Judgment, is rooted in critical thinking to counteract faulty thinking and biased opinions. When overused, Judgment can lead to narrow-mindedness, and when underused, one isn't reflective enough. Ironically, it is often frowned upon to judge ourselves and others, yet our analytical mind somehow gets in the way, which allows us to debate whether something that is frowned upon should be up for discussion.

MTO Lean In Series: Part III

By Renii Modisette • September 2, 2024
This month's blog post features Part III of the MTO Lean in Series. In this edition, we discuss the virtue of Justice and two-character strengths. To learn more about VIA character strengths, please visit the VIA Institute.
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