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reniimodisette • July 8, 2022

I’ve been self-critical. Constantly judging myself. Often, I’ve wondered why I inflicted so much pressure on myself. As if I had little or no belief in myself. Almost like fleeting belief. Mixed emotions. Little self-trust while no one knew of my struggle while on my healing journey. Finally, with the help of a therapist, I’ve worked to alter how I show up for myself. The work started with changing my thought process following an incident in childhood. Today, I am fortunate to have a sound support system. For this reason and more, I am grateful while I continue my healing journey.



In grade school, maybe 4th grade, I was at a friend’s house. She asked me to play the game a specific way- the way she liked to play the game. I did. Thinking it’s no big deal. Next, she slapped me several times, saying, “if you’re going to be my friend, then you need to play my way.”


Immediately, I left to go home. Upset. Crying. When I got home, I wiped my face before walking into the house. Hiding the hurt and shame, I was feeling. My dad was at the kitchen table. Chilling. He asked me, “how was your visit with your friend?” I said, “okay.” I lied. I rushed to my room so he wouldn’t see my face. At the same time, I thought, how could I allow someone to treat me that way. Why didn’t I defend myself? Tell my parents. Unaware of the healing journey to come. Oblivious to the voice I’d taken away from my inner child.


The wounds of the incident led me to believe I wasn’t deserving. As a result, I pushed the feelings down, which set the foundation for my layers of protection for the little girl within. The layers weren’t healthy boundaries- not allowing the healing journey to begin. In fact, the voice of my inner child couldn’t express the pain. Conveying to the little girl within, on a healing journey, that:


  • The incident wasn’t her fault
  • To forgive herself for not doing, for the blame, and the shame
  • She is valuable
  • Stop adding bricks to the foundation


She is ABLE. I am ABLE.

Writing about this confrontation opened old wounds to my inner child. Likewise, the difference is my healing journey is lifelong. That said, I would apologize. I’m sorry:


  • I’ve always been an overachiever, and I would push myself to the brink of exhaustion. I did that because I didn’t want to be weak, just like I felt at that moment. My healing journey was inconsistent- I’d stop when it became too difficult.
  • You did your best. Moreover, I wanted to meet my standard of perfection. Meanwhile, being demanding and cruel to myself. But I would hug the little girl, my inner child, and then repeat that she is enough. Continue the healing journey.
  • Thank you for trying to protect me. In addition to, I appreciate your strength and perseverance.


Equally importantly, I believe in you. It’s time to break free.

LEAN INTO:CouRagE EMBRACE: Honesty, Bravery, and Perseverance

By Renii Modisette • December 27, 2024
We begin to say goodbye to 2024 with cooler temperatures and yuletide attitudes as December ends. One thing is sure: self-regulation starts with the Self despite all else. In the last blog for 2024, I explore the sixth and final virtue, Courage, as well as three character strengths: Honesty, Bravery, and Perseverance, with the pendulum swinging both ways as a reminder we can make it through the first starting with Self. A great conclusion to the MTO Lean-in Series, which focuses on character strengths and virtues from the VIA Institute. I had initially planned to finish this series in October, but I found myself overwhelmed with school and work. I had convinced myself that I could push through despite feeling fatigued. However, I realized that the virtue of Courage also encompasses the character strength of Honesty. It was time for me to be honest with myself, which meant reevaluating the narrative I had created in my head. So, I took a break and reframed my internal dialogue to accept my revised story to remind myself that the pendulum swings both ways, so I must put myself first and focus on myself to overcome a self-imposed narrative that pushing through is the best way. I challenge you, amidst this season of giving and gratitude, to be honest with yourSELF—it's a personal journey. Is being honest with yourself a sign of bravery? Depending on who you ask, you might get different answers. In my opinion, yes, we are often harder on ourSELVES than anyone else is. Bravery is usually defined as resilience, facing fears, and not shrinking in the face of a threat or challenge. So, why can't SELF be a challenge? To help you navigate this solitary journey of self-awareness, consider the following statement:  "I AM in charge of how I react to others. I choose to respond in a positive way."

Where are you on the tightrope? MTO Lean-in Series, Part IV

By Renii Modisette • October 13, 2024
Hello October! Q4 is in full swing, with MTO KPIs still at the forefront. It feels like I was saying "Happy New Year" just yesterday. Towards the end of June, I began the MTO Lean-in Series, which focuses on character strengths and virtues from the VIA Institute. I learned about the character strengths and virtues while completing my Positive Psychology Practitioner studies and found them intriguing, especially in relation to enhancing my mindfulness practice. So far, I've covered Temperance, Transcendence, Humanity, and Justice. This month, I'll be discussing the fifth virtue, Wisdom, as well as three character strengths: Judgment, Curiosity, and Perspective. I'll then conclude the series with the sixth virtue in the November blog post. For more information on VIA's character strengths, please visit the VIA Institute website at https://www.viacharacter.org. WISDOM Let’s begin with I've coined the Wisdom Tightrope when discussing the virtue of Wisdom because it involves a balancing act depending on the situation. The first character strength, Judgment, is rooted in critical thinking to counteract faulty thinking and biased opinions. When overused, Judgment can lead to narrow-mindedness, and when underused, one isn't reflective enough. Ironically, it is often frowned upon to judge ourselves and others, yet our analytical mind somehow gets in the way, which allows us to debate whether something that is frowned upon should be up for discussion.

MTO Lean In Series: Part III

By Renii Modisette • September 2, 2024
This month's blog post features Part III of the MTO Lean in Series. In this edition, we discuss the virtue of Justice and two-character strengths. To learn more about VIA character strengths, please visit the VIA Institute.
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