On the other hand, fighting invisibility wasn’t a simple task as a new mom. Far removed from what I’d imagined my life to be. Living in low-income housing. In addition, receiving $229 in TANF per month and food stamps for a household of 3. My son was born 18 months after the birth of my daughter. I had responsibilities. A new mom with a ton of worries. However, I was grateful for my home. A broader support system, and friends. My friends were the voice of reason, a channel for venting, and there for me.
Despite the rule that no one could live in the apartment who wasn’t on the lease. With that, his belongings were hidden. But the rental office knew of his presence. My son’s father was my homie, lover, friend. He preferred to get back to the hood of things so that kept him in the streets. Three years later, I was evicted due to an incident he had with someone who lived in the housing complex. Here I was, homeless with two children.
To put it another way, I will be forever grateful for my broader support system, his mom, sister, and father. His family never judged me. Instead, their support kept me going as a new mom. Eventually, I found a place to live, and his parents brought us groceries when we had no money, got clothes for the kids, and were kind to me during and after the relationship.
Although an extremely tough situation that occasionally felt insurmountable, I grew in determination. Good friends offered support. They reminded me of what I had accomplished. I was determined to provide for my children. To have a home for them. Being a mom with small children, problems don’t seem so enormous with the right set of friends.
Things were looking up after I landed a job as a phlebotomist. Each day offered the opportunity to give up. Find a flaw in the circumstance. As a new mom, from time-to-time, it is easier to believe it won’t get better. But the job at the American Red Cross gave me hope. I leased an apartment. That’s right, and it was around the corner from my parents! I saw my youngest sister more often. My youngest sister did more for me than she knows. We have a 12-year age difference. Through her, I saw possibilities. Wanted to be a solid role model for her. I took the honor very seriously.
Actually, being a mom of small children, my determination helped to handle difficult times. However, my support system was the reason I fought invisibility. I would encourage anyone to find a support system. Support comes in many forms, and it’s worth it. Keep going! Keep your head up!
To my son, who celebrated a birthday earlier this week, you are a force to be reckoned with, a gentleman, and a genuine person. I want to take all the credit, but I can’t. It took a village, a support system. I love you, son. Happy Birthday and thanks for your love and support.
