In my twenties, I thought about what I’d do when my children were out of diapers, potty trained, and childcare. Ironically, in my early thirties, as my older two were in approaching middle school, I frequently considered the liberties of a quick run to the grocery store without having to pack everyone up. However, in my forties, the time had come. Indeed, the entire experience was like a roller coaster—fast, sharp turns and a queasy stomach. Undeniably, over quickly, but emotional, nonetheless. Was this my new normal?



At age 21, my son left the nest. Although I was happy for him, I cried every night for a few months looking at him in the “leaving the nest” photos. His room remained empty for at least a year. I would stand in the doorway looking at the space he once came home to each day. Thinking he’s not here, what do I do with this room? My new normal.

Honestly, I waited to renovate his room because it would make it real. He had left the nest, and he was on his own.

At the same time, I found myself lost despite my youngest child still at home. Lost in the sense that he brought a different piece to our family puzzle. Now that he was gone, it seemed as if the puzzle pieces belonging to him were somehow gradually disappearing.

By the same token, the truth was his pieces weren’t disappearing; instead, they were reinventing how each fit into our evolving family dynamic.

Simultaneously, my youngest was entering high school. For which, I experience slight anxiety adapting to a new normal that I wanted to hide from. Run from. Ignore. However, deep down I knew I could not.

This resulted in initial thought about what I enjoyed and wanted to do. Long of the short, I started rediscovering my interests: trial and error. Hence, the start of my About Me list. A list intended to help dust off prior interests that could potentially become primary interests. Identify places I wanted to visit, e.g., day trips. Things I could do at home but hadn’t in several years. While wondering if new normal is the best way to think about our family next steps.

Guess what?! I had nothing to write on the list, making clear that my children’s interests had become my interest. So, I decided to:

• First, purchasing a Groupon to paint led to participating in body painting which was a liberating experience.
• Second, joining group fitness classes for activities I felt I was too big to do (girl, don’t judge me. I’ve judged myself more than I’d like to admit)
• Third, I started journaling (again) 

All of this to find me. Find my normal. Reinvent my normal. I’m still working on the list and seeking out new adventures. An 81-year-old woman once said to me, “if you stop living, you die.” So, I’m choosing to keep living. A good girl not hurting nobody while defining my new normal.

If you are seeking to find yourself in this time of change and want to dive deeper into defining your new normal that enables you to honor your strengths by finding what your Me Time will look like or you want to ignite loving yourself as you are again then this is for you! Through the GLADness Program, I will help you adapt strategies to help you find peace within through change. Book a free consultation today.