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reniimodisette • April 22, 2022

I’ve come to realize that there is a consequence to contorting to the status quo and not listening to my gut. Dimming my light by accepting what isn’t for me. Subsequently, taking an emotional toll on me. Feeling sadness. Expressing frustration. Haunted by episodes of isolation. It became clear that I needed to refocus my mental energy. Beginning with managing my expectations and centering. Being in the thick of it but knew I didn’t have to remain. I leaned on my squad. I sought a different perspective. Lacking self-love when I really need it. Have you ever been there? 

Thinking about refocusing and self-love

Over the years, I’ve learned that I must be strategic professionally and personally. Seeking a plan to refocus when I’m not taken seriously. Assess my response when I feel taken advantage of. Select my words wisely when my assertion is interpreted as aggression. Even more, I need avenues that augment, not hinder-time for self-love. Or, the little girl within just needs to call her momma for some good ole conversation. However, there is a degree of self-inflicted pressure associated with this process. Most times, it starts as adrenaline but ends with haze and exhaustion. Certainly, taking time re-evaluate and realign is helpful.

That said, I am still learning to balance. That “no” is a complete sentence. And setting boundaries is self-care. Deciding that I can’t be everything for everybody. Learning I feel better after a good cry or going to a boxing class- self-love. Understanding that this too shall pass. The next day is another opportunity for optimism. Striking a balance between my strengths and weaknesses.

Oh, how challenging it can be. But God!

Reclaiming my focus and periods of self-love. No longer in a situation that drained me. Not having to see awkward smile of ridicule. Instead, walking in wholeness. Breaking chains. Continuing my journey.

Snoop and Lil Duval said it best “I’m hot like a crockpot. I got a lot to be smiling for”…I am breathin’ so I am achievin’. So, I choose to SMILE! Meanwhile, what is on my gratitude list? Glad you ask:


  • I am grateful to wake up this morning 
  • Enjoying my grandson’s excitement while walking to school 
  • Expressing congratulations to family
  • Offering love and support to the family in
  • Celebrating new beginning
  • Fresh perspective and broken chains
  • Mental health vibes overflow


With that, I won’t dim my light forsaking my self-love. Remember I matter scheduling snippets for self-care. Just like seasons, it is better to move on than to hold on. Protecting my mental health! Self-care as a black woman helped me refocus.

Today I choose me.

LEAN INTO:CouRagE EMBRACE: Honesty, Bravery, and Perseverance

By Renii Modisette • December 27, 2024
We begin to say goodbye to 2024 with cooler temperatures and yuletide attitudes as December ends. One thing is sure: self-regulation starts with the Self despite all else. In the last blog for 2024, I explore the sixth and final virtue, Courage, as well as three character strengths: Honesty, Bravery, and Perseverance, with the pendulum swinging both ways as a reminder we can make it through the first starting with Self. A great conclusion to the MTO Lean-in Series, which focuses on character strengths and virtues from the VIA Institute. I had initially planned to finish this series in October, but I found myself overwhelmed with school and work. I had convinced myself that I could push through despite feeling fatigued. However, I realized that the virtue of Courage also encompasses the character strength of Honesty. It was time for me to be honest with myself, which meant reevaluating the narrative I had created in my head. So, I took a break and reframed my internal dialogue to accept my revised story to remind myself that the pendulum swings both ways, so I must put myself first and focus on myself to overcome a self-imposed narrative that pushing through is the best way. I challenge you, amidst this season of giving and gratitude, to be honest with yourSELF—it's a personal journey. Is being honest with yourself a sign of bravery? Depending on who you ask, you might get different answers. In my opinion, yes, we are often harder on ourSELVES than anyone else is. Bravery is usually defined as resilience, facing fears, and not shrinking in the face of a threat or challenge. So, why can't SELF be a challenge? To help you navigate this solitary journey of self-awareness, consider the following statement:  "I AM in charge of how I react to others. I choose to respond in a positive way."

Where are you on the tightrope? MTO Lean-in Series, Part IV

By Renii Modisette • October 13, 2024
Hello October! Q4 is in full swing, with MTO KPIs still at the forefront. It feels like I was saying "Happy New Year" just yesterday. Towards the end of June, I began the MTO Lean-in Series, which focuses on character strengths and virtues from the VIA Institute. I learned about the character strengths and virtues while completing my Positive Psychology Practitioner studies and found them intriguing, especially in relation to enhancing my mindfulness practice. So far, I've covered Temperance, Transcendence, Humanity, and Justice. This month, I'll be discussing the fifth virtue, Wisdom, as well as three character strengths: Judgment, Curiosity, and Perspective. I'll then conclude the series with the sixth virtue in the November blog post. For more information on VIA's character strengths, please visit the VIA Institute website at https://www.viacharacter.org. WISDOM Let’s begin with I've coined the Wisdom Tightrope when discussing the virtue of Wisdom because it involves a balancing act depending on the situation. The first character strength, Judgment, is rooted in critical thinking to counteract faulty thinking and biased opinions. When overused, Judgment can lead to narrow-mindedness, and when underused, one isn't reflective enough. Ironically, it is often frowned upon to judge ourselves and others, yet our analytical mind somehow gets in the way, which allows us to debate whether something that is frowned upon should be up for discussion.

MTO Lean In Series: Part III

By Renii Modisette • September 2, 2024
This month's blog post features Part III of the MTO Lean in Series. In this edition, we discuss the virtue of Justice and two-character strengths. To learn more about VIA character strengths, please visit the VIA Institute.
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